‘There is no point trying to go for you dreams in your life because you are only setting yourself up for disappointment’
For whatever reason, that quote looks as pessimistic as when you read it but is surprisingly passive when said, and I’ve been really surprised by how many times it has been said by young people to me in the last few months.
I’ll admit it, I’m extremely lucky. I have only met a handful of people who found their calling as young as me. As soon as I picked up the guitar at 8 years old, it intrinsically defined me. Therefore I am not very good at empathising with people who have yet to find their passions, and in the past, I have come across as insensitive on this subject. So to make amends to that, I want to at least attempt to offer encouragement by flipping that quote on it’s head.
First of all, when you attempt to go for anything you dream of doing, you are by default setting yourself up for disappointment; but is that truly the only thing your setting yourself up for? Perhaps you are setting yourself up for finding something you have a natural disposition for, or enjoy doing it regardless of your ability, or gaining a load of lessons and knowledge in the process. It’s been said so many times before, but you never know before you try.
Success is a concept that has been held on such a pedestal in society, that it continuously halts aspiring racers to run even before the gun has been fired. The anticipation of failure, the premonition that you won’t succeed is actually more difficult to overcome than failing itself. Well here’s an open secret, happiness in pursuing something is not defined by its success or failures, it’s by the process.
When a child picks up the guitar and becomes so much in awe of the strings and the potential of the instrument, do you think that he or she is thinking about success or having approval when playing the thing? The concept of failure or success is a conditioning that is imposed later on. That’s not to say that when I make records, I don’t want to share them with as many people as possible, but regardless of whether I sell 100 or 100,000 records, I won’t ever stop because I love it too much. There have been times where I have experienced disappointment, felt completely inadequate and failed miserably, but it’s times like that where I trace back and remind myself of the first experiences I had of picking up the instrument. Along with all the inevitable neuroticism and negativity one can experience at times in the creative process, I’ll always believe the following quote that Rick Wakeman once said.
‘Success is found in a garden of failure.’
I have indeed set myself up for disappointment, but I have a heck of a good time!